Almost every piece of literature on conflict management, peer resolution and making schools bully-proof stresses the need to create an environment within a school where these issues are discussed freely and openly, and that children feel that they have the power to control what happens to them. Schools need to create an environment where it is okay for students to talk to parents and teachers as a legitimate method of standing up for oneself.
A word that is extremely important in this discussion is respect. Many adults use the word respect with school-aged children and expect that the students will know what they mean, when in fact many do not. Teachers and parents cannot assume that children know what the word means or how to go about doing it, which is why having students create their own classroom behavioral norms and expectations can go a long way in helping to define what a functional class should look and feel like.
The problem with bullies, however, is that even though they may agree to these rules, they may also choose to break them. One possible choice a school can choose to address this predicament is peer mediation.
United We Stand...
It is crucial that the school must have adopted a philosophy that takes a strong and active stance against bullying or any other form of aggression before a peer mediation program can be established. Otherwise, any mediation between a student with power such as a bully, and a student who is perceived not to have power probably will not be effective.
The basic idea behind peer mediation is that children who have visibly displayed they have a conflict between them, or if one student has an “issue” with another, can come together in a controlled, confidential, non-judgmental setting with a neutral moderator for the purpose of stating their concerns, listening to concerns, and coming to some kind of a concrete agreement for resolving the issues between them.
In this form of conflict resolution, the idea is not to win an argument. When someone is a winner, someone else is a loser, and that’s not what peer mediation is about. Peer mediation is a tool for arriving at solutions where both parties can walk away feeling that their concerns have been heard, and that there is a positive, solid agreement in place about something as they move forward. The agreement might be about something incredibly small, such as both students agree not to slam each other’s locker doors – but at least there is something they could agree upon, and sometimes that’s a really good start.
Peer mediation gives students another tool for dealing with the normal conflicts and concerns that accompany growing up. It gives students the skills and techniques to help one another through some of the anticipated problems that occur during school life as an approach to resolve conflicts where the disputants have the chance to sit face-to-face and talk uninterrupted so each side can be heard.
Gifted Students Take Leadership Roles in Defining A School’s Culture
Helping gifted students find a role in which they can act as peers for students that could otherwise be adversaries helps to diffuse many difficult situations before they ever get started. And this is exactly where the gifted students can take a leadership role in shaping the culture of the school by volunteering to be trained as peer mediators!
Consider some of the characteristics of a gifted child, and how well they would fit in as a peer mediator! The peer mediator is the one who helps two students use their words and listening skills. The role of the mediator is to be a neutral third person who leads the mediation process. Peer mediators are the peacemakers for the school who listen to and respect all points of view. What a perfect job description for a child who has a highly developed sense of right and wrong, is verbally articulate, and is sensitive to the needs of others.
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