Parents of gifted children face some unique challenges when it’s time for parent-teacher conferences. While other parents want to know how to help their kids keep up in school, parents of gifted kids are often concerned that their children seem bored with what is, to them, repetitive busy-work. Sometimes, gifted children who are not challenged by the standard curriculum develop behavioral problems in the classroom, and parents are frustrated when teachers focus on that aspect of the child rather than on his or her academic needs.
Parent-teacher conferences present a golden opportunity to bring these issues to the teacher’s attention and to work out a strategy to meet the gifted child’s needs. But that’s only going to happen if the parent goes into the conference armed with solid information and constructive ideas.
Come to Conference Prepared
- Do your homework. There's a lot of information available on strategies for teaching the gifted child in a heterogeneous classroom. Most teachers receive little or no training on providing differentiated instruction for gifted learners, but you can help by providing source material on the subject.
- Understand the curriculum. Many schools and school districts post this information on their websites. You can also find out what textbooks are being used and check out the publishers’ websites for additional information. If you know what is being taught, you can more realistically assess your child’s skill level relative to that material.
Be Constructive
- When you meet with the teacher, use positive language. You want your child’s teacher to be your ally, not your enemy. Instead of, “Lauren is bored in your class,” which has an accusatory tone, ask, “How can we adapt the curriculum so that Lauren is challenged by the work?”
Advocate Effectively
- Beware the "more work = more challenge” approach. Unfortunately, some teachers will respond to a parent’s request to challenge a child by piling on more of the same type of work. If the teacher offers to give Lauren extra worksheets when she’s done with her regular work, don’t end the conversation there. Make sure that the teacher understands you want your child to do a reasonable amount of work at her own ability level, not extra work below her level – and come armed with some information on curriculum resources.
- Don't be afraid to suggest acceleration. If you really feel that your child has mastered the curriculum that is being offered at his or her grade level, ask if he or she can be moved up. This can mean skipping a grade entirely, or it can be subject-specific acceleration, where the child does math, reading, or another subject with older and/or more advanced students. You may very well encounter resistance to this idea, but you won’t know unless you try.
Communicate Effectively
- Listen. Your child's teacher probably has some valuable insights to offer about your child’s needs and behavior in the classroom setting. You want the teacher to be responsive to your concerns; you need to reciprocate by being responsive as well.
- Don't go over the teacher's head or behind his back. If you’ve had an honest exchange with the teacher but still feel your child’s needs aren’t being met, invite him to join you in a discussion with the principal to explore what other options might be available. This isn’t just a courtesy; the principal will be much more receptive if she knows that you’re already working with the classroom teacher to devise a strategy for your child’s education.
- Keep lines of communication open. The conversation may start at the parent-teacher conference, but it shouldn’t end there. Offer feedback on what’s working and what isn’t – and be prepared to receive feedback from the teacher as well.
As a parent, you are your gifted child’s advocate. By approaching the parent-teacher conference armed with information and a constructive attitude, you can have a positive impact on your child's classroom experience.
